Rainy Day Thoughts

This school year has flown by so quickly, and I can hardly believe I'm about to be done with my freshman year at college. Today I'm in one of those "sad to have it all be over" moods. Don't get me wrong; I certainly have my share of "when will this be over?" days, too. But as I walked through the rain to the Bookstore today, I felt that the weather matched my mood. Rainy days can sometimes be sad, but at the same time I love them because the sound of the rain is so peaceful. Also I often love the rain because it smells good, but sometimes it only brings up stinky dust in the air. Basically, I feel like I have a hard time making up my mind about whether or not I like rainy days. Today I had a hard time making up my mind about whether or not I was going to like the quickly approaching end of the semester.

On one hand I never want to leave because that means missing my friends, packing, change in general, and not seeing a lot of my guy friends for 2 years (if ever again). On the other hand, I can't wait to not be stressed about school, to see Mom and Texas again, to be able to use a nice washer, dryer, and iron, and to have a meal not at the Cannon Center.

The other day I realized I've been in Utah for quite a while. Even though it feels like hardly any time at all since I nervously moved into the dorms, I've realized the following:

• Wearing flip flops is a really weird feeling for the first few minutes.
• Putting on a short sleeved shirt makes my arms feel naked... (Okay so they are, but this is the type of naked like when you forget to wear your watch or ring one day.)
• I didn't wear a jacket or sweater the other day (when we had nice weather), and as I sat eating at the Cannon Center my back felt oddly comfortable without the jacket draped on the back of my chair like usual.
• I don't get as bothered by bad pianos anymore, because I'm so used to playing on poopy ones and those are better than nothing.
• Going up the ramp from Helaman Halls to campus is not something I dread every morning like it used to be when I'd be completely out of breath by the time I reached the top.
• I will really miss having a sink literally right next to my bed when I leave this tiny room.
• Seeing someone with facial hair makes me do a double-take because I haven't seen it for so long.
• The few times I smell cigarette smoke it smells ten times worse than I ever remembered it smelling when I was around it more often in Texas.

I suppose it's time for a change in my life since I've learned from all these adjustments. Change is good, and I always need to learn more.

but just for today i want to pretend it won't have to happen